I read a true life of how a man set his wife ablaze because he was angry she didn’t prepare food for him. It’s not just that she didn’t make his food, but she was literally washing his clothes at the moment he wanted food!
In a typical African home, cooking is solely a woman’s responsibility hence a man doesn’t bother learning how to cook because he’s been taught that he’ll grow up someday, get married, and have his wife prepare every of his meals when he’s hungry!
I don’t consider cooking anybody’s responsibility; in fact it’s a needed skill for survival! What happens in situations where you’re alone, and there’s no restaurant nearby? You can’t think of something to make to sustain yourself?
A good wife/woman won’t let her husband, kids, or anyone around her to starve; but in situations where she’s too busy or even sick to make food at that moment, it becomes a problem?
It’s funny how some mothers also teach their daughters this patriarchy — like I listen to some women talk, and they believe that their entire purpose on earth, is to go to school, get married, have kids, raise their kids and “husband”, then wait for their kids to get older, get married, and give them grand kids; then it’s till God calls them. I mean this is indeed a good achievement; but it’s also why we have so many unhappy people because they put themselves in a box, and don’t have time for anything else — not even a good social life nor a “me time”.
Mothers teach all your kids — both male and female that learning how to cook is for their own good. What if the men get married to a woman who uses food as a weapon, then he’s going to starve because he can’t cook? Let’s not even talk about how society looks down on men who cook — especially African women! To them, a man cooking is a sign of weakness. When they see a man cook for his girl, they term it “control”. “Oh he’s being controlled”.
I personally wasn’t used to men cooking; and learning that my man can cook was surprising at first; and I know that for as long as we’re together, I’ll barely let him cook even though I know he can. Now I appreciate the fact that he can cook, and take care of himself when I’m not around — because imagine your man inviting another woman over to cook for him when you’re not there just because he’s clueless about how to use anything in the kitchen.
Marriage is team work! It shouldn’t be the man handling all the financial issues while the woman does all the domestic work! You can both support each other in every way! That’s love!