I kind of felt the need to write about this because I’m used to girls and women always talking about the kind of man they want; and it’s always TDRH (Tall, Dark, Rich, and Handsome).
Somehow, it’s very okay when a woman lists all the qualities she wants in a man; but when a man does, it’s a problem. Why is that?
Let’s talk about it!
Having a type means having a certain set of characteristics that you find very attractive in a person, and you consider these before wanting to date a person. Africans calls it “having a spec”. So yes, men also have their spec too – maybe not all; but most do! Especially those ones with standards, and self-respect. They won’t settle for just anyone!
What I don’t understand, is why women have to play victim about it. A man says he doesn’t want a chubby woman, and we start screaming “body sham.ing”; but women make emphasis on how they don’t want men with pot-belly unless he’s wealthy, and no one screams “body sham.ing?”.
Women don’t want short men but will gladly date Davido or Wizkid; and when a man considers height when picking a woman, it’s a problem?
A man says he wants a woman with a big boo.ty, and we scream small boo.ties matter; but we comfortably say we want men with a big banana?
There are also men that don’t care if you have a big boo.ty, and they won’t fall for you just because you have one. They probably prefer slim women, and that’s okay too!
A man says he prefers light skin women, and we scream “black is beautiful”, but most women prefer dark skin men, and no one screams “light skin is beautiful”. In fact I’ve never heard that phrase before.
The bitter truth is that as a woman, you will never be every man’s cup of tea! No matter how beautiful and se.xy you are, not every man will consider you his spec. There are also men who don’t care about physical attributes – as long as the woman is intelligent and respects them.
Some men prefer traditional women while some prefer modern women. These are all choices, and there’s absolutely no reason to feel attacked when you don’t fall in best choice of women!
I personally feel like the ones who aren’t confident enough to go after their spec – maybe because of people’s opinions or any or other reason, probably do so later in life – even if they’re married – unless they have self-control, and satisfied with their partner.
Having a type isn’t only about physique. Emotional needs are also considered. Some men prefer women who are very feminine, and submissive just because they believe these women will listen to them more.
Some like reserved women, and some like loud women. The list goes on and on, but I honestly hope every woman understands that being pretty doesn’t make you every man’s spec. Most men get married to woman just because she’s pretty, and attractive but their real spec or type may actually be women who are less pretty, and less attractive – looking at their dating history. You may still find them messing around with women like this, and that is why people always ask why side chics are less pretty than the wives.
There are also men who have no type at all. They like every woman, and that’s also okay for them; but let’s stop playing victim when men talk about the kind of women they like, and want to marry. It’s much better to go after their type, and be satisfied in the relationship; than settle, and start cheating.
When you have a type, you’ll realize that no matter the number of bad relationships you have, you’ll still see yourself wanting what you’ve always wanted. When you look bad on your dating history, you’ll see that all your exes shared something in common.
I have a type too; but like I’ll always say, finding a good person with good intentions is better than finding your spec, and if you find that in your spec, then you one lucky human.